Round 2, Which is Really Round 1: Instant Parma’s Gonna Get You

By: johncas | September 10th, 2011
   

This is the fixture that should have been our second game of the season, but the strike obviously ruined that. I’m not sure when we’re going to make up the first match-up against Udinese, but for all intents and purposes, this is round one.

And oh, how I hate this fixture.  You know it’s going to happen, and by “it” I mean a brace by Sebastian Giovinco.

sebahafreddoxd_178206

Wouldn't you be bitter too if you were (literally) frozen out of the squad?

But does it have to be this way?

I seriously can’t stand the guy.  I know that he had been “mistreated” by the club, but by mistreated, well, you mean that he wasn’t given the requisite playing time over superior players.  In Ranieri’s 4-4-2, he had Pavel Nedved blocking him.  A year later, when he wasn’t on the trainer’s table, he had Diego ahead of him in a system which employed a trequartista.  But that didn’t stop him from running his mouth.  ”Oh, if I were Brazilian or Argentinian I’d get playing time!” he would snarkily remark in between howls of, “Waaahhhh Del Piero didn’t talk to me enough!”  Shut up.

While he deputized admirably at times, including a good performance against Chelsea in the 08-09 Champions League knockout round, he otherwise failed to impress at Juventus.  There, I said it.  I agree with Adam Digby — he’s deceptively slow despite his his size (which is also his biggest liability), and is too easily moved off the ball.  He’ll never be a top player at a top club like Juventus.  Unless he starts working out with Steve Lattimer from The Program, that is.  Parma, fine, but not in the big show.

But G-effin-D, anger and bitterness are the best motivators, and he will kill us.

We have a tendency to allow old Juventini to kill us in recent years.  Giovinco, Palladino, Mirante — anyone else I’m missing who plays for Parma right now whom I should be terrified of?

But…

But…

This is a new year.  A new season.  In our new home.  315347_565871013100_30900087_31749085_319784538_n

I truly believe that this can be the turningpoint.  While there were some gaffes in the summer’s mercato, the quality has undoubtedly improved, and here comes the first test — at home, the first official game, in our new, gorgeous palace.  41,000 tifosi, right up against the pitch, with a roof overhead – only making the acoustics louder, and the stadium shake harder – and suddenly creating a real homefield advantage enjoyed only in famous stadiums outside of the peninsula.

The good: New Stadium, new home, new season, new hope.  We have real, actual fullbacks now, and a very (almost too) deep squad.  And because of the aforementioned strike, we don’t have to worry about missing out on Krasic, Quagliarella, Vucinic, and/or Matri, who were all nursing minor injuries in one form or another two weeks ago.  It’s almost too perfect, isn’t it?  Hmm…you think Lichtsteiner brought over some SIM cards with him from Switzerland upon arrival…?

The Bad: Giovinco, Palladino, and Mirante.  Watch, somehow Mirante will score on a friggin goal kick or something.  I hate you all.

The silver lining about Amauri: Yes, we’re stuck paying his wages, as he refused every transfer under the Sun last summer in an effort to remain and “prove himself.”  Well Amauri, the only thing you’re going to be proving is how lonely it can be training away from the squad and never dressing for games.  You’ve been completely worthless since immediately after your first six months here, and despite second chance after second chance, you’ve yet to justify a fraction of the investment of money and players (don’t even get me started, thanks Secco) sunk into you in the Summer of 08.  But, at least remaining means that you can’t play against us tomorrow.

And you’re also no longer desecrating Pavel Nedved’s number 11, after strict orders from il mister.  Grazie, Conte.  Wear it well, Paolo De Ceglie.  Make your idol proud.

The ugly:  Seriously, why has it become completely effing necessary for footballers to strip down to their undies on the pitch?

My starting XI: 4-4-2  Buffon; Kelso, Chiellini, Boner, Forrest Gump; Elia, Vidal, Pirlo, Milosh; Vucinic, Matri.

Verdict: Seriously, Giovinco’s complaints about young Italians not getting playing time are very rational, I’ll give him that.  But his case was pretty reasonable and unique.  In the post-Calciopoli world, youngsters such as Chiellini, Marchisio, and De Ceglie were all worked through the system, and have since flourished in varying degrees.  Yet, none of them are Argentinian or Brazilian.  In fact, Seba, they’re all Italian.  Just like lil’ ole you.  Did you used to complain that “teacher doesn’t like me!” when you brought home a bad little report card in your tiny little fingers?  Probably.

Giorgio, show him why you’ve succeeded in black and white while he hasn’t.  You and Stephan better mark the F out of him.  Pummel him.  Push him around.  Bruise him.  Rough him up.  Show him how Juventini do their talking with their feet on the pitch.  Bitch.


Some Related Juventus Posts:


Category Category: Team News
Tags

   
  • BUFFON: "PIRLO THE DEAL OF THE CENTURY"

    http://www.zizoufans.com/2011/...

  • 18 years ago from today, on September 12, 1993, he made his debut.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    I say we already give him another extension until 2013.

  • W

    All together now:

    Sono sempre al tuo fianco,
    io di te non mi stanco,
    sei la cosa piu bella che c'eeeeee
    Alessandro Del Piero Aleeee
    Alessandro Del Piero Oleeeeee

  • E nato a Conegliano,
    E il nostro Capitano,
    Mito Bianconero,
    Auguri Alex Del Piero.

    Holy fuck I love this man.

  • BAGGIO10

    Del Boy is a symbol of Juventus and Italy and a world icon. Class, elegance and talent personified.

  • On a related note, that was probably the BEST tennis game I've seen this year. Incredible stuff, amazing points and rallies, really the highest quality shit I've seen for a long long time.

    DISQUS'D!

  • Somnath_Sengupta

    I think Fedex's time is up :(

    He is looking more and more mentally fragile with each passing tournament :(:(

  • My heart broke when he lost that game vs. Djokovic the same way he lost it against Tsonga at Wimbledon: 2sets up, just gotta finish it off, but fucks it up=(

    We still love you Roger=D

  • etentori

    NOW I AM

    Disqus'd =(

  • Rdj8

    Whos watching miss universe!? Lol.

  • eve

    I am...lol
    I'm on the west coast though !!!

  • dweb

    So, I think I need an intervention. I just watched the final of the US Open (Djokovic won, if you did not know) and decided to root for Novak (yes, bc he is Serbian like Krasic). I watched most of the match and it was long. At some point, I did a quick wiki search and found out random facts about Novak that were pretty cool and further helped me to root him on. I then see that he is a Red Star fan; "cool, he likes football, I can support that," I think. I then read on to find out that he likes the Serie A! Even cooler! ... his favorite team is AC Milan. BOOOOOOO!

    You had so much promise, Novak.

  • He's Serbian. Dejan Savicevic is Serbian.

    He's a Crvena Zvezda fan. Dejan Savicevic played for Crvena Zvezda.

    He's an ACM fan. Dejan Savicevic played for ACM.

    There's your reason lol.

  • dweb

    According to my vast research, Savicevic is Montenegrin and not Serbian . By that token, he should be a Viola fan ... totally kidding, no one wishes that on their worst enemies.

  • Milos

    Djokovic is part Montegro... 

  • Lol, fine, how about this:

    He's from the former Yugoslavia. Dejan Savicevic is from the former Yugoslavia.

    He's a Crvena Zvezda fan. Dejan Savicevic played for Crvena Zvezda.

    He's an ACM fan. Dejan Savicevic played for ACM.

    Kind of like yours truly being a Juve fan partially (a small part) due to this stud:

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_NTUK...

  • XhakaJuve

    he scored like more than 55 goals for juve does he have a star in the new stadium

  • Nope. Records from those times were a little hard to keep though. I'm happy knowing he helped the team win.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
    How can one faux-hawk donning man have so much heart?

  • W

    Quick link for the Italian-impaired:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    I would like to point out though that this interview didn't quite go the way it was presented in Juve's write up. They said his comments about Chile "were Arturo’s first words, before discussing the match and his superb Bianconeri debut." Doesn't seem to be the case.

    I do not mean to diminish the sentiment or call his sincerity into question, I was just a little surprised when I saw the video.

  • These videos they posted are always cut up. So, it's not the whole interview. Maybe he said it before the interview started. And, the interviewer asked the question as if Vidal had said it first.

  • W

    God damn it ESPN is stupid, apparently we put 4 past Marco Storari on Sunday.

  • I laughed hard when I found out the dunce Melo is wearing the #10 jersey over there this season.

    I nearly broke my monitor when I saw the umpteenth Disqus fuckup.

  • Angel

    The team has started strongly the last few seasons to only crash and burn to the ground in the second halves. So, the win doesn't really prove much.

    Let's see how they are doing when round 20 comes around.

  • Pavel_Nedved

    That is true but last season we never were so dominant as we were last sunday.

    You saw a team on the field. A team that knew how to keep Parma quiet and how to create chances by playing football.And a team that kept running and kept recovering the ball.All that without Vucinic, Elia, Krasic and Vidal who all were thought to be starters. I'm not even concerned about the fact that Grosso will have to play next game. Because I know that the team is strong enough to compensate a weaker link in the team. Unlike previous seasons. My only concern with this style of play is that we will have troubles when we play better teams or teams that play possessionfootball. Like we saw against Betis en Milan in the preparation. I hope that Conte will have the intelligence to adjust the team.

  • We started with a loss last season, buddy.

  • Angel

    Jorid:

    Didn't mean the first game, just solid first halves only to falter at the end.

  • I was merely being an idiot and purposely clutching at straws on that one lol.

    Fully understood what you meant the first time.

  • JoseR

    Let's see how we are doing in May

  • Angel

    Even better

  • Milos

    This is my review of the game. Enjoy:

    Buffon - He was good old world best GK, with his confidence sky high. He made 10 brilliant saves and just conceded a penalty. 9/10

    Lichsteiner - He has really week stamina, he can't run for 15 minutes. He was really lucky to score that stupid goal, overall very bad, lazy performance. 3/10

    Barzagli - This guy choose a wrong profession, he should work as a doorman. He opened the door of goal to brilliant Giovinco so many times. He is unexperienced and very week physical player. 3/10  

    Chiellini - Really poor game from him he was rapped by Pelle. He was really bad in the air too, missed every header. I thought that we played without defense, just awful. 4/10  

    De Ceglie - Bring Grosso in, to bad we didn't buy Traore full contract. Paolo was very included in defense where he was really lost and none in the attack, just made couple of really bad crosses. Only one positive thing, he saved clear goal by smart fouling Giovinco and conceding a penalty, justified red card. Bad performance but because of smart penalty: 7/10

    Pirlo - He played classic attack breaking DM. He did had a lot of great tackles (at least 10), but his passing was just terrific. But he is still young and have a lot to learn, just needs to concentrate little bid... 3/10

    Marchisio - I don't know what position he played, CM, LM, RM, ST he was losing ball everywhere  on the field. I miss Poulsen and Tiago. Marchisio is overrated player, he should be backup in mediocre Serie B club. 2/10

    Giaccherini - Without a doubt "man of the match". His brilliant technique and pace created almost all goals and chances. He was a constant threat to Parma defense, Nedved who?? 10/10 

    Pepe - He had awesome game from one point of view, not so much from other. He was always sprinting wide, dribbling Parma players minute by minute, his crosses were brilliant. But his bad work rate as always, were a constant annoying thing on the field. Scored lucky goal, but was awesome in RW position. 9/10

    Matri - Are you people blind, he is awful striker. He showed that last season with his bad composure in front off the goal. Bring in Amauri or Iaquinta. Matri is also ugliest player ever played, my girl doesen't want to watch Juve because of his ugly face. He had luck to hit post in second and scored from clear offside in first half, but referee made right decision. 1/10

    Del Piero - He is really strong and fast, he just lacks skill. Overall 3/10

    Vucinic - I didn't saw player who worked that much on the field ever. He is a machine... Interesting about him he never took his shirt or shorts off when scored a goal, ever. This was great just because off his work rate. 9/10

    Vidal - Meeeh, nothing special... Failed to impress, just walked all over the field doing nothing.
    2/10

    Krasic - He lacks pace, skill, ball control, crossing but he is more of a defensive winger. Hands down for always trying something new, but he is more suited for full back because of his defensive skills. 3/10

    Stuff :

    Conte - His motivating is very bad, players looked tired and unmotivated. Team was playing with 
    defensive approach, without effort in the middle. Posetion was 75-25 to Parma so you know what i mean. We were lucky we won, because we didn't deserved it.

    Marotta - How dare you spend 95 million on 13 great players ??? You should spend that on Aguero and Pastore you cheep idiot. Who needs defense and middle when you have attack???
    Who are these players Vidal, Vucinic, Elia, Estigarribia, Lichsteiner, Matri ??? We are Juventus we always spend 45 mil on a player buy us a overrated youngster !!!

  • vidder911

    My first experience with an ANTI-review

  • nico

    A38 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CR7

  • jamal100

    please ... re-watch the game again...cuz I dont think u watched the game if this is your Review. I repeat what Refly said:  " that's one looong Joke"

  • Milos

    DUDE, i was sarcastic !!!

    Yes that's one loooong "JOKE"

  • That's one looong joke....

  • I disagree

    so true. thanks for saying the truth about this mediocre team.

  • JDAngkasa

    For someone with your username, you agree with a lot of people...

  • The perfect recipe for the most brilliant weekend ever:

    >See your oldest sister get married and get to take some of the leftover cake back to college
    >Saw loads of awesome (extended) family members I hadn't seen in ages
    >Found out that my 14yr old cousin is accepted to have a trial at Fulham FC
    >Didn't get behind too much with homework
    >La Vecchia Signora is awake and roaring (now let's pump some caffeine into this bitch to keep her awake till May)
    >Inter got popped
    >Serena Williams Amauri'd

    Mission accomplished.

  • AlbionArks

    WOW!That's insane,man.A trial with a premier league(or any top division team for that matter)team is mega

blog comments powered by Disqus

Follow Us

           




Italy National Team News

Search The Offside


 




Related Links


Categories


Send Your Tips!

Found a great story, photo or video that's perfect for The Offside?
Email juventus[at]theoffside[dot]com

Write for The Offside

Archives