Juventus vs Palermo: Previews & Contests

By: roberto | November 22nd, 2007

Fire it up you pirate-hookers, Serie A’s back in town! Fire what up exactly? I’m not sure. Could be cigarettes, peyodie, an old smelly couch, your ex-girlfriend’s busted-ass weave… whatever your fix, just light the damn thing on fire already. Juventus will be hot on Palermo’s scent come Sunday as your boys in white and black take on those other guys who don’t look nearly as good in pink as we do.

So the International stuff is over and done with for now, and yet again, Juventus’ contribution represented well for team and country. Camoranesi, Iaquinta, Palladino, Buffon, Chiellini, Criscito (U21), Grygera (Czech Euro), and Del Piero (wait what?) were all back at camp yesterday just in time for an early afternoon stroll around the grounds (ok ok, no Del Piero but he still tipped his hat. Pure class, kids). This morning they’ll have trained again, then once more Saturday before Sunday’s evening fixture against Palermo. A fixture that I cannot see Ranieri taking lightly at all, as my recipe will explain.

Makes 6 to 8 servings

3 pounds of that parot on Palermo’s crest, cut into 1-inch cubes
3 cups of Bitter Rival Draw
3/4 cup of Bloody Horrible Refereeing
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 cup unsifted all-purpose Parmalat flour
1/2 cup of Mamma’s tomato sauce
4 large garlic cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt

Let contents soak overnight; next day, preheat oven to 400F. Skewer cubes of meat then broil, turning frequently and Enjoy!

Boy that would taste awful wouldn’t it? In any case, our boys will have to come away with three points here. No easy task. Although we’ve had their number in the past (26-12-5), Palermo is a different team up front this year with that Amaurito Braziliano, and the ex-Juve ‘Mighty Mouse’ Miccoli (who is fortunately for us injured and might miss Sunday’s match). These guys are a huge reason why Palermo sit seventh in the standings and haven’t lost once in almost two months.

But Ranieri must focus our boys into a “no ‘ifs’ ‘ands’ or ‘buts’” mentality for this one. Let’s see here… I bet he knows that recently his club has run into some bad luck (if you can call it that) with the refs. Also, I bet he knows it’s imperative that they take this game into their own hands and not let Palermo dictate the pace. Plus for surrrrre he must know the importance of going into the San Siro on a high note for next week’s clash against Milan. Sooooo, crushing victory for Juventus beyond the shadow of a doubt anyone? How ’bout it Tinkerman??… 3-4-3?? 2-4-4?? 1-6-5??!! all strong possibilities given the multitude of talent here guys (really i no joke).

Alas, a 4-3-3 with Camo, T-Rez, and Iaquinta upfront causing some serious fucking damage probably isn’t in the cards. However, a strong 4-4-2 should do the trick to pull off the victory.

(left to right infront of Gigi)

Defence: Zebina–Grygera–Lego–Criscito

Midfield: Camo–Tiago–Zanetti–Nedved

Attack: Trez–Del Piero

Most notable absentees: Chiellini (who is playing terribly well and deserves his new contract) is disqualified for that red card against Parma, but will return in time for Milan next week. Molinaro, because of a bum foot, might ride the pine. Iaquinta, Palladino, and Nocerino will most likely start from the bench and may only be called upon late if need be; given Ranieri’s probable plans for them in Milan.

Most notable inclusions: Tiago might actually get the start here. With International duty calling upon Camoranesi (who is just too good to leave on the bench no matter what) and Palladino for their midfielding efforts, Tiago (who has been steadily training and keeping his mouth shut) offers Ranieri a solid solution. For one thing, another game under Tiago’s belt would help him reach his potential with Juventus sooner. Secondly, if we are planning to sell the midfielder for perhaps a Diego, let’s say, Secco would be pleased to see Tiago’s stock rise before January… It’s called purchasing power $$$, Something us Canadians know a lot more a’boot’ these days. I guess we’ll see come January though… But boy o’ boy the rumours are tempting for Juventus, aren’t they? Just about every defensive and midfielding option out there is being rumoured to join us, and fuck it’s getting hard not believing the hype!

Two things before I go:

Check out the first video of Studio Sport’s preview of Juventus-Palermo. There’s a portion of it where Ranieri, I think, is trying to demonstrate some new foreign technique he learned whilst he coached a band of Taiwanese Gypsies (ooops will I get fined for that??)… Now whether the technique is football or ballet is another question entirely. Either way the Tinkerman (or Tinkerbell) is priceless.

Check out the second video of Chiellini’s flippin’ peach of a goal against Faroe Islands. I think its high time we begin the search for his nickname…‘Giorgione’ just won’t do. If you got a good one that’ll stick, leave it in the comments. The winning entry will be decided by vote once all suggestions are collected and categorised in a later article devoted to this contest. The winner will receive an all expenses paid trip for two to Las Vegas for one week. Just as soon as I straighten out the details with Chiellini’s camp… (let’s hope his agent is his brother or sister for that one).